I was standing on the fourth floor terrace of an early 1900's building on the campus of the University where I work. The season made the air clean and crisp and the view was stunning; a myriad of colors along the horizon. I was looking over the edge of the railing at the students bustling to and from class. For the first time in a long time I was feeling comfortable and calm. I felt adjusted, for a brief moment.
A young woman walked up next to me after a few moments. We stood together in silence until I decided to speak, "It is so peaceful up here. The view is gorgeous."
To which she replied, "You see that tall building over there?"
"Yeah."
"Someone jumped off of that a few years ago and killed himself. It was during the day. Can you imagine that?"
"Well, I can now!!," I thought. I stood there for a few minutes looking at her with a straight face. At first I admired her for saying something utterly bizarre to a complete stranger.
"That is an interesting conversation starter," I said.
"I guess." Her expression was blank and she stared off into the distance. Her appearance was in complete disagreement with the statement she had just expressed. You would expect her to talk about library privileges at the University rather than the suicide statistics. Not knowing her motive for stating such an interesting fact, I grew annoyed. Then I realized I was irritated that she dampened my moment.
As I began to leave I said, "Thank you for making this moment awkward and unpleasant for me."
"You're welcome."
As I walked away, I began to smile. I admired her again for being awkward, uninhibited, and unapologetic. In a matter of moments I went from feeling calm, to being shocked, to being annoyed, to being in awe. That is what makes being alive so exciting for me; you can feel every moment if you allow yourself. I felt alive again. Thanks, weird librarian-like lady.
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