Knocked up or legit?

I have this habit of people watching. Actually I am down right staring at people. If I am close enough I will listen to conversations. I am not sure there is really anything wrong with this, as I have learned some interesting things. I have also heard some of the most ridiculous things. I would have to say that yesterday, I may have heard some of the MOST ridiculous question.

Yesterday I heard complete strangers ask pregnant women if their pregnancy was planned. I was astounded by this question. I am all about asking off the wall questions and asking things that are inappropraite, but I think this takes the cake. One women said her pregnancy was planned, but the other sheepishly replied, "um, no, it was a surprise." The follow up question, "You don't have a wedding ring, are you in a relationship?" was followed with, "no." I have to say that the pregnant woman is a stylist and was asked this in a the middle of a busy salon, among a number of other guests. People heard....

Girl, fucking lie your ass off! You are a professional and basically admitted to everyone in the salon that you are a fucking hooker. You may spread your legs to the world without protection, but don't be spreading your fucking dirty laundry. In addition, tell that bitch to shut the fuck up and mind her business.

End scene.

Oh, excuse me....

I think I walked in on the cat trying to use the toilet this morning. Walking towards the bathroom, I thought it was strange that the door had been partly closed. As I pushed it open, there she was sitting on the toilet seat. She stared at me for a moment with an annoyed look in her eyes. "Oh sorry..." I said, and feeling embarrassed for interrupting her. Then I realized I was talking to the fucking cat. I can't stop thinking about the whole thing.

I'm not that kind of doctor

Today while I was stretching at the gym I caught a glimpse of a woman's labia. Yes, I know. We were on adjacent mats stretching and she spread her legs to stretch, her shorts opened a little too much and there they were. Staring me in the face. Proud; like she was at the gynecologist.

Now, I don't always wear underwear to the gym--mostly because my running shorts have a lining--but I make damn sure that no one can see my pie hole when I spread my legs.

A word to the wise: make sure you are trying to show off your panty hamster when you are showing it off. Otherwise, poopsnatch that situation!